Keeping One’s Head

I’d forget my head if it weren’t screwed on. Which it wasn’t. But is now.
Owls had always fascinated me. Wouldn’t it have been easier to design a bird
with swivelling knees than with a swivelling head?

But there is a lot to be said for being able to appreciate the opposing
view. So I figured it was time to face the music, and then to face the lady
in the second violins in very quick succession.

I needed my head examined. What was I doing becoming a cryptic crossword
setter? I aspired to be a wise bird, while others couldn’t give two hoots.
To wit (to woo), I needed surgery.

In rugby terminology, I needed a loose-head prop. I had more than a screw
loose, and the nuts and bolts of the situation were as follows:

I would be losing the thread, if only I had a thread to lose. And how could
my screw be loose, me with an absence of thread on which to tighten things
up? I resolved to use super-glue and be done with it.

His young son Jim
Would tell his Pa
Such Funny jokes – Pa laughed ‘ha ha!’

But then one day Jim heard a clonk.
Pa’d laughed his head off – haha… Bonk!
So, please beware
Your funny joke
May be the death of some poor bloke.
(Belloc?)

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3 responses to “Keeping One’s Head

  1. Belloc? Possibly laughed his bottom off

    Belloch was named after has Pa Scotch-whisky-burped in surprise at the Hilaireity of his birth.
    You should write books and books John

  2. Apologies. I meant laughed his Bellocs off.

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