Marriage done and dusted. Move to Brighton polished off. First baby has arrived. Time to get back to some crossword composition, and to get working on the Year of the Crossword
One day I really should get a proper job. I am 45, and I worry I may be otherwise unemployable. I want to do voluntary work overseas, but depressingly I have no skills. Could the children of war-ravaged African nations, sand-blasted pencils poised over the gold-dust of a sheet of A4, be aching to know the Ximenean laws of cruciverbalism? That is all I have to give, save hugs and my impression of a bee.
Three years back I was fortunate to spend my mornings in a Brazilian orphanage. My Portuguese is non-existent, my teaching skills absent without leave. So I was a bee. For a month. I would buzz around their yard, for some reason pretending to have horns, until either I puffed to a halt or the children stopped screaming., whichever happened first. I hope they enjoyed it. I pray it enhanced their lives, for those brief apian moments. I had tried homophones on them. Blank faces.
So what would I do if not a crossword setter? How could I apply my anagrammatical skills to the ‘real’ world? I can barely change a fuse, only perhaps to make ‘U SAFE’.
Employers of the world, please consider me. But for the moment crossword editors of the world, please continue to trust that in this one area I (at least most of the time) know what I’m doing.
Best wishes, John (Paul)